I finally managed to convince Mr.Onion that there was something missing form our lives... an entertainment center. Yesterday we drove to Walmart and chose a real whopper. Mr. Onion strongarmed it into the car and we were off. Once home it quickly became apparent that this was going to be fun. Not because I so love putting things together as much as the fact that Mr. Onion can rebuild engines but when faced with the complicated details of particle board and slot A meets notch B he loses his freaking mind.
Even with Benny lending a paw Mr. Onion had about reached his boiling point by step 4 of the instructions. After that I demoted him to entertainer of the kitten whilst I put together the entertainment center (enlisting Onion to tighten screws etc along the way). THEN, I made the mistake of suggesting he put together the drawer while I nail the backing on the unit. I was about 5 nails in when I had to stop hammering or risk losing a finger I was laughing so hard. Mr. Onion had put one of the pieces in backwards and was talking dirty to the drawer as he pulled it apart. Then he flipped it over and hammered it back in swearing up a storm only to discover that it STILL wasn't in right. I staggered, I clutched my stomach, and Mr. Onion glared.
In the future I feel certain in the knowledge that this will be one of the defining moments of our relationship. Mr. Onion quit amidst my peels of laughter and resumed his post as screw tightener while I fixed the drawer, finished the entertainment center, and fell exhausted into bed. Lesson learned: taunt your help, build by your onesies.